Delayed Gratification

Over the weekend while I was working on a Buy Now vs Rent vs Buy Later analysis for a client it struck me again how the human mind works when it comes to gratification.

Most things in life that are of any real significance take time. That is, they are achieved with what we call delayed gratification.

Think about it.

Having a baby. Building a business. Working on healthy relationships. Cultivating skills. Improving mental & physical fitness. Creating wealth.

And while ruminating aloud with my co-founder Sangeetha she happened to summarise it so eloquently, "All of these put the reward later & the work upfront". Satya Vachan. Sorry. True that. :))

In today's FOMO + YOLO world, instant gratification has crept into our daily lives. From what we eat to who we love or date & from what we watch to how we shop. Swipe. Tap. Done. What's next.

What probably makes instant gratification so enticing is that the reward is upfront & the work comes later, if at all & maybe this is the reason why instant gratification has become so commonplace. Yet it doesn't seem to last. It's fleeting. Why?

Is it because we don't have to work for it. Like getting an endorphine high without a workout. Or a dopamine kick without achieving a goal.

Understanding this becomes a little easier if we are aware of what is called the reptilian brain in humans. This survival brain or the amygdala gets triggered by stimuli. Negative or positive. In this case the reward upfront is the stimulus. Once triggered the amygdala generates an emotional reaction which overrides all rational or logical thinking. The amygdala hijack!! And that is where things like 'Retail therapy' & 'Emotional eating' happen.

Does that mean then that we delay all gratification-No!! That would amount to a decision paralysis where we aren't only delaying the gratification but also the need to make a decision & exercise a choice.

When it comes to a large financial implication for any instant gratification choice we make, we can practice that hallowed word ‘BALANCE’. Balance in how we approach it. Balance in how we spend. Balance in how much we spend.

What delayed gratification also does is make us stop. Take a pause. Step back. Slow down. And while we do that, choices open up. Perspectives change. The amygdala calms down. And gratification or the path leading to it may take on a whole new meaning. 

Just before I went into this consult with these clients I happened to read that Switzerland has the highest concentration of millionaires anywhere in the world. 

And the one habit that stood out in that study was-Practicing delayed gratification.

Now Switzerland doesn't just have millionaires it also has a very high standard of living which means they're not just building wealth (by delaying gratification) but spending it too. Quite the balance I'd say.

So is gratification then truly gratifying only when we delay it? Well that probably makes for a whole other discussion on fulfillment, on contentment & on how much really is enough. Like one of my favorite authors Geneen Roth says 'Is enough really a number'?

For now do this. Next time you have a big spend lined up for something that you think will bring gratification, try this. Pause. Wait a little. Take a moment. Or more. Much more. And revisit this in a few hours, days or weeks. And then see for yourself how it plays out when you give your intelligence a chance to go beyond its survival instinct.